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Tis the Season to Return Bad Gifts!

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Image by alancleaver_2000 licensed under Creative Commons.

Welcome to America’s second favorite shopping holiday! Haul back all the junk you don’t want! Use that gift card burning a hole in your pocket!

Honestly, the day after Christmas is crazier than Black Friday. The return line at Wal-Mart alone is enough to make me want to crawl underneath the covers until January!

In our family gift returns are a rarity. We start thinking through Christmas presents months in advance and only make purchases after weeks of internet research and deliberation.

We’re really detail oriented like that. It’s both a blessing and a curse, but it’s also why our magic shows are so awesome.

I found a hilarious article from the New York Times about bad Christmas gifts. There’s some pretty funny stories there.

Here’s my favorites:

“A toilet paper holder made of a wire coat hanger and lace, which gave the receiver the ability to tastefully display extra rolls of toilet paper above the tank to prevent unfortunate shortages. Bless her heart, my aunt made these for everybody and really thought they were something.”

Wait a second? How is that bad? I for one particularly appreciate an ample supply of toilet paper! (If you’ve seen the show, you understand).

“Dawn dish soap. I was 14. I guess somebody forgot to get me a gift, so they raided the cupboards. It was in a Happy Birthday bag.”

Gus the Rubber Chicken is particularly fond of this one. He loves being so fresh and so clean clean! (Another show reference).

Then there’s my absolute favorite:

“The worst as in destructive: My brothers sometime in the 1950s received an air gun and shot the ornaments off the revolving aluminum Christmas tree.”

As the guy who spent 11 years of his life learning how to catch a paintball in his teeth fired from a real paintball marker, I kinda wish I’d have thought of that one myself!

In honor of the day, what’s the worst Christmas gift you’ve ever received? What are you returning today?


One Response to “Tis the Season to Return Bad Gifts!”

  • Mystical Matthew on

    I wrote this post before Christmas. Ironically this year we do have a return. There’s one shirt we got that ran a little big, so it’s getting exchanged for the next size down.

    Other than that we’re all curled up enjoying our awesome gifts!

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